Failed Hope

We try to expect what will turn out with our lives.

We plan and create our destiny’s but what if everything you do is a failure?

Everything you set out to make right, crumbles before your eyes.

What if your feelings hold back another’s future?

Would you give up everything you love to change the fate of the one you love?

You hope for love but fail to hope.

You feel lost.

Crude Friend

Bright smiles,

hateful lies.

Try, try to socialize.

I can’t see what they see.

I can’t see what they hate.

Can I see my fate?

My heart sinks when the weekend comes.

I feel sick, I feel shunned.

Current Drama

I don’t even know where to begin, there are just so many stories that can be told. I guess I will start with the most recent one.

How would you feel if your mother came to the city you live in just to see a boyfriend and did not come to see you? Would that be ok with you? Or what about you get a text from your mom telling you she’s going out to party that weekend when she still hasn’t seen you. Tell me, how would you feel?

Words can’t begin to express how I feel. I think I actually died a little inside when my brother told me my mother was back in her home state.

Even when you go through these things as a child, I don’t think it gets any better as an adult. What’s sad is that I have no family that I can count on. Some people may say I’m looking for pity, which is hardly the case. I’m looking for a family and friends that won’t desert and leave me when they get tired of having me around. Is that pathetic? I would say yes but it is the truth.

I’m planning for my wedding next year and have two people going from my family. That is the extent of my guest list. People are wondering why I am not excited about having a wedding, because there will be no one to see it. I probably will never see my siblings again and I’m sure they won’t care either way.

This is one of many stories that kills me inside.

Risk

There’s nothing left to learn

and there’s no where left to

hide, we keep ourselves

too closed and break

inside. Our dreams become

a cherished past with no

where to reside.

Guidance

Let kindness fill his

heart, let god show his true self, let

god show me the way.